Disturbing Study Proves Atheists Least Likely to Believe in God

Rich Data Set Irrefutable by Evolutionists

CNW has obtained results from a study funded by our audience which conclusively demonstrates that Atheists are more likely than virtually any other group to be Godless.

Out of 241 randomly-sampled Atheist liberals who own Macbook Pros, drive sports cars and make more than $60,000 a year living in Tacoma, Washington, the disturbing picture of a Godless group of hedonists emerged.

Our incredibly precise method of scientific research revealed that not one of the Atheists believed in God. The results were so astounding that we consulted with the Institute of Conservative Research and Facts. We sent them our research, and here was their damning reply:

😀 lol dude this is prety awesome. forwarding this to my uncle ❤ ❤ ❤

In light of the success in extracting the results we wanted from this rich set of data, we would like to congratulate our contributors and extend a special thank you to our 5 biggest donors to the study:

  • Anonymous Oil Company Executive–$5000
  • Ted Thompson—3000 green rupees (2,500 USD)
  • Michelle Maltin—Let us borrow Season 2 of Game of Thrones
  • Geoff Harper—Cleaned our bathrooms no less than twice
  • Anonymous—Left angry note at our office about Rand’s double-parking
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