Obama gets baked

Obama Promises to Relinquish Secret Nuclear Weapons Cache Beneath White House

Disassociated Press—Washington, D.C. In an accidentally candid moment during his weekly Saturday address to the nation today, Imam Barack Hussein Obama promised to turn over the remaining nuclear weapons he presumably had intended to detonate in several US cities, beginning with Charleston, North Carolina. (It is believed that the weapon they had intended to level…

DRM LOLFACE RIOT

PS4 and Xbox One Tensions Erupt in Bloody Console War

Disassociated Press Two million video game consoles sold, one million fanboys dead Following the recent release of Sony’s Playstation 4, and a week later Microsoft’s Xbox One, tensions between fans of either console have erupted into full-scale violence. Although sales for the consoles numbered over 1 million each within 24 hours of their respective releases,…